It's Not About the Books Anymore
by onewritergirl
Summary: While Castle's away from the 12th for the holidays, Kate gets an unexpected phone call that changes everything. A mid-season three story.
1. Chapter 1

**It's Not About the Books Anymore**

**Chapter 1**

It was a few days after Christmas and the normal holiday murder count had been higher than usual. Detective Kate Beckett was exhausted and was looking forward to some much-needed days off. She was finishing up the last few forms of what had been a mountain of tedious paperwork when the phone rang.

"Beckett."

"Detective Beckett? Oh, thank goodness. This is Gina Cowell…" After a short, awkward pause, the caller clarified, "…Rick's publisher."

_And second ex-wife_, Kate thought. _Why on _earth_ would she be calling_?

"Oh, hi Gina…What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you've seen him lately."

Kate was intrigued. Castle's girlfriend was calling _her_ to locate her missing boyfriend?

"Not for a few days," Kate answered.

_Seven_ actually, but who's counting?

_Kate was. _

She glanced over at his empty chair. She wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, but she missed him. She couldn't help when her response to Gina came off a tad snarky. "Why, have you lost him?"

"Not exactly," Gina answered. "I just can't get a hold of him. I've been calling him for almost a week and he won't answer his phone."

It wasn't unusual for Castle to ignore Gina's calls; He'd done it before. Kate asked the next questions very delicately.

"You haven't spoken to him? Aren't you two…cohabitating?"

"No…why would you think that?"

"I just assumed…since you're…together."

Gina laughed. "We're not _together_."

"I'm sorry. I just thought…since you'd gone to the Hamptons…"

"Yes, I went with him to the Hamptons…for the summer…so I could stay on top of him while he finished _Naked Heat_…you_ know_ how he can get distracted. But we're not a couple…we're just friends. If Rick told you anything to the contrary, it was exaggerated. He may have said it to protect himself."

_Protect himself_?

"From what?" Kate wasn't sure what Gina meant, but she definitely wasn't prepared for the answer.

"From you." The publisher paused for moment. "He's in _love_ with _you_, Kate."

_What? _

Kate couldn't believe what she was hearing. She didn't know what surprised her more: finding out that he loved her, or hearing the revelation from his ex-wife.

"He told you?"

"He didn't have to…I could tell. It's obvious. By the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you, and especially the way he writes about you."

"Maybe he went out of town," Kate supplied, still trying to process the words _he's in love with you_.

"No, Kate. Something's definitely wrong. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but I really could use your help. And since this has to do with Nikki Heat, I figured it probably has something to do with you."

_Nikki Heat_?

"Gina, what are you talking about?"

"Earlier this week a certified letter was delivered to my office; It was from his lawyer. Rick is suing to sever his contract to complete the _Nikki Heat_ novels. It says he's reached a dead-end with the series and he's no longer interested in pursuing the character." Gina paused for a moment. "Kate, did something happen?"

_Had_ something happened?

Kate's thoughts reeled back to the last time she'd seen him.

They had been at _The Old Haunt_. Castle had hosted a Christmas party for the entire team. There had been good food and _lots_ of great booze. They'd laughed and sang. Eddie, the bar's official piano man, had been more than thrilled to accompany them.

Everyone had been there: Esposito, Lanie, Ryan and Jenny, Captain and Mrs. Montgomery. Castle had even insisted she'd bring Josh. Kate had been sure it had been so he could interrogate the doctor. But she had been certain that Josh would have never revealed the true nature of their relationship. Gina had been surprisingly absent from the festivities. Kate now knew why.

They'd partied well into the night. As far as she'd known, everyone had had a wonderful time. Nothing had seemed out of the ordinary. The last thing Castle had said to her had been that he was taking a break for the holidays because he'd wanted to spend time with Alexis; Said he'd see her after New Years.

Had she missed something?

"I have no idea what's going on with him, Gina. But I'll see what I can find out."

#######

Kate stood outside of Castle's penthouse loft, wondering what mysteries might be revealed behind the large metal door. She could have called, and perhaps he would have answered the phone, but she wanted to do this face-to-face. Martha answered the door soon after Kate rang the bell. She was always welcoming and greeted Kate with a warm smile.

"Detective Beckett. Please, come in." Martha waved her in with a flourish.

Kate made her way into the living room as Martha closed the door behind her. "Martha, please call me Kate."

Martha smiled. "What can I do for you, Kate?"

"Is Castle here?"

"No, sorry."

"Do you know where I can find him?"

Martha paused. "Is this about a case?"

"No, why?"

"Well…he just asked that he not be disturbed. He only told me where he was so I could contact him in case there was an emergency with Alexis."

"Alexis? She isn't with him?"

"No. She's gone to California to spend the holidays with Meredith. They've been planning it for months. Didn't Richard tell you?"

"Not exactly."

Not at all, actually. The story that he'd told Kate was almost the exact opposite of what Martha was saying.

"Martha, would you please tell me where he is? I really need to talk to him and it can't wait until he gets back."

Martha put her arm around Kate and began leading her into the kitchen. "Kate, darling, I'll make you a deal. You tell me what this is about and I'll tell you where he is."

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**Thank you for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**It's Not About the Books Anymore**

**Chapter 2**

As with any other investigation, Detective Beckett began this one by finding clues, gathering evidence, interviewing witnesses and following leads. Her next step would be interrogating the suspect.

Armed with an address and detailed directions from Martha, Kate headed off the next morning to locate Castle. The nearly three-hour drive gave her ample time to assess all the information his mother had given her.

Martha had offered Kate something to drink as they'd sat at the counter to talk. After Kate had told Martha the reason she had been looking for Castle, Martha had been very forthcoming about his whereabouts and had been more than happy to tell Kate what he'd been up to.

Kate had told Martha about the call she'd received from Gina earlier that day. Of course, she'd _conveniently_ left out the part about Gina believing that he was in love with her. When Kate had mentioned to Martha that Castle had wanted to quit writing the _Nikki Heat_ books, Martha's expression dropped.

"Oh, my," Martha had said. "I never thought it would come to this."

"What?"

"You," Martha answered bluntly. "He's been head over heels for you ever since the first time you had him arrested."

Kate smirked, remembering standing in this very apartment shouting,_ Richard Castle you're under arrest..._ Little had she known that it wouldn't be the only time she'd utter those words.

"I know my son," Martha continued. "He's been writing a love letter to you in the form of those books. You know that, don't you?"

Oh, God. There's that word again.

_Love_.

Kate smiled in agreement.

"I think he's scared to death of losing you," Martha added.

Kate couldn't understand how Castle thought that quitting the _Nikki Heat_ books would keep him from losing her (when he really didn't _have_ her to begin with). But she was certainly determined to find out.

"Martha, please tell me where he is."

Martha had told her that after he'd dropped off Alexis at JFK, he'd driven out to his house in the Hamptons where he'd been holed-up for the past six days. He'd told his mother that he'd gone there to work on the latest _Nikki Heat_ book. But with the information Kate had gathered, Martha hadn't been so sure _what_ he'd been up to.

Kate hadn't been either.

Kate could have waited until after New Years to find out what was going on in that head of his, but she'd already spent a _very_ long summer waiting for him to come back from the Hamptons; Waiting for him to call. She wasn't going to wait this time. This was going to be on _her_ terms.

As Kate drove, Gina's words echoed in her head.

_He's in love with you_.

But was _she_ in love with _him_?

Possibly.

Probably.

_Yes_.

But was she willing to take a chance with him?

After the heartbreaking fiasco of last spring-ending her relationship with Tom Demming and then standing in the precinct hallway with her heart in her hand as she'd watched Castle and his ex-wife walk arm-in-arm into the sunset-she'd put up walls around her to protect herself from that kind of pain again.

One of those walls was in the form of a man named Josh Davidson.

She'd met Josh at a fundraiser for a local children's hospital. He'd smiled at her and had made her laugh. Then he had offered to take her for a ride on his Harley-Davidson Softail. She hadn't been surprised when they'd ended up at his place that night.

Spending time with him had helped her get through the summer and most importantly, had helped her try and forget the pain that Castle had caused. She had also safely tucked away her feelings for Castle; feelings that she was sure he didn't return.

Until now.

But Josh wasn't her boyfriend. She'd made it very clear to him from the beginning that she wasn't interested in a serious relationship; but she _was_ willing to have a _no-strings_ _fling_ with him. He had been completely fine with their arrangement.

Kate suddenly realized that her relationship with Josh was like that of Nikki and her trainer, Don.

_Maybe there's a little more Nikki Heat in me than you think. _

Josh was a handsome cardiac surgeon, he was charming and funny, he was a biker, and he was great in bed. He should be everything she would want in a man. But there was one thing he wasn't.

He wasn't Richard Castle.

But ever since Castle had returned to the precinct in the fall, she'd kept up the façade of her relationship with Josh, especially since Castle had given her every reason to believe he was still with Gina.

Castle had lied to Kate about his relationship with Gina and she'd lied to him about her relationship with Josh. She chuckled to herself. She wondered if Castle would appreciate the irony.

Kate thought about the other thing that Gina had said: _Since this has to do with Nikki Heat, it has something to do with you._ Kate was certain of that, too. Why else would he quit writing the books?

It finally hit her.

He wasn't coming back.

He was leaving her.

She was going to lose him.

Again.

It was Memorial weekend all over again, but this time there wouldn't be the promise of _see you in the fall_.

Kate wondered if he would just stop coming to the precinct; if the last case they worked on together really was their _last case_. Would he even say goodbye? The thought made her very sad.

And then she thought the worst, maybe she'd just receive an official letter from his attorney:

_Dear Detective Beckett, _

_This letter is to inform you that Richard Castle is no longer in need of the services of the NYPD and will not be shadowing you on any further cases…_

That thought made her _angry._

If he truly loved her, why would he just walk away?

Kate realized that if she expected honesty from him it was time to be honest with him too. But the last time she'd attempted to admit her feelings for him they'd spent the summer apart.

_She trusted him._

She wasn't going to leave until she figured out what was going on. She was going to stay until she'd convinced him to come back as her partner. She wasn't sure how she'd do it, but she knew he needed to think it was his idea.

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**Thanks for reading. Please review. I'd love to know your thoughts.**


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